song to the sun

i always read. i always read manga. i always read manga that's completely scanlated. i always read short manga that's completely scanlated. but it's rare for me to find manga that affects me this much. i read Taiyou no Uta from Aerendria Scans and I never thought it would be that good... and it would have this much effect on me.

Basically, it's like another twist of A walk to remember by Nicholas Sparks (which by the way was a favorite of mine for quite some time back then). It was sad, tragic and somehow realistic. The girl had XP disease, I googled it and it's a sickness that affects the enzymes that help us heal when we get sunburned or etc.

Anyway, she likes this surfer guy who passes by their house everyday. But they were like night and day, they couldn't meet. And then by chance, he was out at night and she met him. It was a sweet, short and realistic story of boy meets girl, girl blurts out feelings for boy, boy slowly likes girl and everybody's happy. and then suddenly girl's sickness worsens and girl dies.

There was a movie version of the manga. Yup, a movie version of the manga, not a movie based on the manga but a movie version of the manga. Everything was the same upto the details of the clothes, the characters, the setting - every little thing was exactly as how it was shown in the manga... even the framing was exactly the same. The only bonus was, I could actually hear the song in the movie while I needed a little bit of imagination and creativity in imagining her songs from the manga. Even the lyrics of the song was straight out from the manga. it was eerie and cool.

Good thing I read the manga right before watching the film, or I wouldn't have understood some dead air moments. There were times when they just sat there, staring into space. In the manga, there were personal realizations or the conscience speaking but in the movie, it was dead air. It was realistic but weird. i've been too spoiled with hollywood movies wherein i had to be entertained every second else i walk out of the theatre. i heard in japan, they finish the movie and leave only after the credits finished rolling on the screen. their patience in everything is amazing. really amazing.

anyway. after reading the manga. watching the movie, in youtube - good thing it was in youtube. im now downloading the ost. because yui's voice was amazing. it was soft and beautiful and she justified the character well.

all in all. i spent the night obsessing again. at least my exams are all done so i have enough time to accomodate my fangirlism. cant wait to find more obsession-worthy stuff. hehehe.

fallin' for you

nangyari na ba yun sa yo? nakarinig ka ng song sa radyo tapos narealize mo bigla na sobrang perfect nung song na yun sa drama ng buhay mo, tapos gustong gusto mo nang magemote ng todo tapos narealize mong nasa gitna ka ng supermarket. XD

hay, ganun talaga ang life. ang saklap. anyway. dahil naaddict na naman ako sa isang bagong song, naisip kong ilista ang mga "theme songs" ng buhay ko. di naman sa may kinalaman sila sa life ko talaga, pero naaddict ako sa mga kantang to at one point in my life.

1. Fallin' For You by Colbie Caillat - sobrang naaddict ako dito ngayon, tapos ang matinding line sa lyrics na di ako makagetover talaga:

Maybe I should
Keep this to myself...

(oo nga, medyo ilang years ko ng kinikeep to sa self ko.. hahaha, what's another 10 more years?)

But I want to

I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling....

(hay naku, kung sana kaya kong harapin kung anumang sasabihin mo. pero hindi e. )

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya

(yup. all this freaking time.. mga ilang taon ko na rin siya iniisip. pero me ibang thoughts naman in between pero mostly nga years na din. hahai)

2. Insensitive by Jann Arden

Oh, you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of hope, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive

(Hai, sana talaga maforget na kita. pagod na rin ako sa thoughts ko. pagod na rin ako sa feeling na to. pagod na ako.)

3. Temporary Madness by Jodie Brooke Wilson

its like your in my DNA

like it was always gonna feel this way.

(Ang tindi, DNA ba naman. hahai, pero minsan parang ganun nga...

parang may personalized radar ka tungkol sa kanya. o di ba. saklap.)

Anyway... ayun lang. top 3 songs. ang sarap kasi magemote. kahit may exam pa bukas.

kahit wala pa ako masyadong naaral.

kahit na.

bahala na.

carry lang.

go lang.

kaya to.

... sana. .^____^.

what i've been upto lately... rant-a-rant-rant

i haven't blogged for a long time because...

1. i wrote a fan fiction.. which pretty much took up most of my writing creativity. It is seven chapters long and each chapter was a real challenge to write. The problem wasn't the creativity or the plot, it was more of the putting things into words and making it feel realistic or make the characters be 'in character'.

2. i had a million exams and requirements last last week. okay, not really a million but it was surely a lot. i had to forego sleeping sometimes just to finish the requirements or finish studying for the exams.

3. i am bored. honestly, what to write when one is bored? i've exhausted youtube for anything that catches my interest. i even bought a book by my favorite author but i can't seem to finish it. i bought a comic book again but i wasn't thoroughly entertained. i am bored.

and so... i won't be posting much again. because here are the other stuff that i should be doing:

1. THESIS METHODOLOGY (yup, we haven't decided on the final algorithm of our thesis, and august is almost finished! gah! >panic mode<)

2. CS 131 probset, which was given to us last last week and i haven't even as much as glance at it.

3. CS 133 assignment, which was texted by our professor yesterday but only contains 2 numbers that i don't know how to answer at all

4. Stat 130.... dreaded exam is near, must review 3 chapters.

hai... i am so swamped with stuff... but i can't seem to find the right mood to make them. anyway. good luck to me. and to you too!

20...

ayon sa wolfram alpha.. 20 years at 20 days daw ako mula july 9, 1989 - july 29, 1989.. at kung sana naisip ko yun kahapon. eh di sana nagawa ko ito ng 20 years, 20 days, 20 hours, 20 minutes at 20 seconds pa nga..of existence. para cool.

anyway. aside from 20 years at 21 days na ako ngayon, technically,

7321 days na akong buhay - di man umabot ng 10k... tao talaga, laging humahangad sa upper bound.. hahahhaa

175 704 hours - at ilan sa mga oras na yun walang kwenta

2.006 decades - wala lang parang 2006.. hehe, sana wag naman 2.006 gwa ko.

20.04328 years old ako talaga.

so pwede kong sabihin ang age ko upto 5 decimal points.. hahaha.. wala lang.. anyway. exam pa bukas.. aral muna.

another bangag moment

dahil di na naman ako natulog dahil nagcram ako ng probset... heto na naman ako at bangag na bangag. ayoko sanang sayangin ang moment na ito kung kelan sobrang daling magsulat, magpaflow ng thoughts, magtranscribe ng sinisigaw ng utak ko, pasayawin ang mga daliri ko kung saan man nila gustong pumunta... kasi ganun lang talaga ako, so eto ang mga DAKILANG BANGAG moments ko na medyo once in a lifetime ang dating:

* ang highest score ko sa word challenge sa facebook ay nangyari nung sobrang bangag at inaantok ako at sinisigawan na ako ng ibang tao sa kwarto ng mga salitang nakikita nila sa screen ko. parang naging typist lang ako, pero antaas ng score ko nun, di ko na nga maabutan e.

* ang fastest MP na nagawa ko ay ginawa ko magdamagan from GUI to back end to docu, at individual pa ako nun. minsan kasi kapag feeling gago ka talaga, magpapakalala ka na lang para mas nakakahigh.

* ang highest exam ko sa math dati ay bunga ng hindi pagtulog buong gabi. parang nareretain sa utak ko ang inaral ko ilang oras lang bago ang exam. parang familiar pa sa kamay ko ang equations na sinosolve ko sa kwarto kaya't mabili na niya itong naisusulat sa exam ko. napaisip tuloy ako, kung bangag kaya ako... possessed din ako?

* masarap mawalan ng control sa sarili minsan. yung kinakalaban mo ang antok mo, kasi wala kang thrill sa buhay. ganun na siguro ako kabangag ngayon. bakit ka magdrudrugs, kung pwede ka naman magextrajoss araw-araw at ipagpaliban ang pagtulog. malamang pagkahiga mo sa kama, instant satisfaction na.

* mas masarap ang pagpupuyat kesa sa diet, sa fasting, sa pagpapakabait.. kasi madaling matuwa pagkatapos. makatulog ka lang, langit na. nasa kama ka lang, tulog ka na. baka insomnia ko lang tong nagsasalita. baka kelangan ko na ng sleeping pills. baka psycho lang ako. baka kelangan ko lang matulog.

goodnight.

kapag bente ka na.

kapag bente ka na....

...feeling mo mas matanda ka na, kahit na isang taon lang ang nadagdag sa edad mo
...malapit ka nang grumaduate, wala ka ng excuse para humingi ng allowance
...mejo unrealistic na magbasa ng pangteens na mga libro/manga/comics
...pag sinabi mo ang edad mo, laging reaction nila ay: "ang tanda mo na."
...tapos na ang 1/4 ng buhay mo.. yan ay kung aabot ka ng 80 (matagal na yun)
...at marami pang iba.. wala na akong maisip. hahai. hirap ng tumatanda, sana bumalik ang oras. tinatamad pa akong grumaduate.

when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

i am really bored. i mean this is the third blog post within an hour and i am seriously clogging up this blog with all these nonsense. but hey, isn't that what blogs are for?

here's a song that won't leave my head otherwise known as the "last song syndrome" or LSS. it has a point though, when a heart breaks.. it really doesn't break even. i mean i've never been heartbroken or whatever before but the song really has a point. anyway. here's the lyrics.

Breakeven lyrics

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man thats gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even)


hai.. i'm hopeless.